Max Dugan Returns

Celina and I are moving to Washington in just 17 short days, so we decided to have a garage sale. Her grandmother offered up her garage for said sale. While customers rummaged through some crap and ignored other crap, I noticed a VHS tape with three movies recorded on to it. One of which being, 'Max Dugan Returns'. I myself had never heard of this movie before. I consider myself a movie buff and there are a lot of random ass movies that I like that no one has ever heard of. Like Bill Murray's underrated crime caper, 'Quick Change'. Celina's grandma went on to rave about 'Max Dugan Returns', calling it one of her favorite movies. I brushed it off and really had no desire to seek out this movie.

Skip ahead two days and I am browsing Netflix in the morning before having to go to work. Wouldn't ya know it, Max Dugan pops up in the comedies genre. It was random as hell to say the least. I had no choice but to watch it. In short, 'Max Dugan Returns' is a simple 80s movie starring Jason Robards, Donald Sutherland, and a pre-Ferris Bueller Matthew Broderick. The movie is about an elderly ex-con and absentee Father that comes back into his daughter's life in order to both make amends with her and be a part of his grandson's life. Max Dugan also brings with him a briefcase full of money that may or may not have been legally acquired. The movie didn't WOW me, really. It was good, not great. I did appreciate the screenplay, and I think that's mostly due to it being a Neil Simon script. 

What's strangest about this situation is the fact that 'Max Dugan Returns' has been on Netflix since October. So why is Netflix bringing it to my attention 7 months later? If I had googled the movie beforehand, I wouldn't find this happenstance particularly eventful. But the fact of the matter is, I never mentioned the film to anyone. The conspiracy theorist in me immediately assumed that Netflix hacked my phone and recorded my conversation through the microphone. Yes, I know that sounds crazy. I sometimes forget that synchronicity itself is crazy, crazy stuff. 

-Dom

QT's Western

Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:41 pm

My friend John sends a group text to his brother Joseph and I about his recent 'Best Films of 2013' e-mail.  We all get in to a conversation about the films on the list, plus other movies.

4:20 pm

Joseph mentions how he likes to write things on paper instead of on a computer.

I mention how Quentin Tarantino does the same thing.

John points out that QT's next film is going to be a western.

A conversation about Tarantino ensues.

5:16 pm

After checking a frequently visited site, Slashfilm.com, I notice an article about said western.

The story appeared on the site around 4:20 pm.

The Hateful Eight Story on SLASHFILM.com

SYNCHROTASTIC!

-Dom

Old Zealand

Wow, it's been a few months since I've written anything. I've had my fair share of synchronicities and weird happenstances since my last post, but nothing so mind boggling that I felt the urge to run to the computer and blog to my heart's content. Until two days ago.

12/23/13: I'm sitting in my girlfriend's apartment, waiting for her to be off of work. I decide to pass the time with netflix. I'm a fan of Joe Pesci but I have only seen a small chunk of his filmography. One movie that completely passed me by was 1994's 'Jimmy Hollywood' starring Pesci and Christian Slater. Since it was available online, I gave it a shot, what the hell. The movie was okay. Nothing too funny or exciting. I only got about 30 minutes in when I got distracted by other things. 

12/24/13: While at my girlfriend's parent's house for Christmas, I decide to text my fellow movie-loving brother, Nick about 'Jimmy Hollywood'. I was curious if he had ever seen it.  He responds with,

"Yea. Best line: "Is there an Old Zealand?""

This line must have occurred in the movie after the 30 minute mark, because I didn't hear it until Nick said something.

Two hours later...

Nick texts me again. This time he tells me that his girlfriend just asked him, out of the blue, "Is there an Old Zealand?"

Mind = Blown. 

 And by the way, there is an Old Zealand. It's just called Zeeland and it's a province in the Netherlands. You really do learn something new everyday.

This will be my final post of the year of the snake (Unless of course something truly amazing occurs within the next week). 2013 started off a little rocky for me but ended up extremely euphoric. I can not wait to see what the year of the horse has in store. YEEEEE-HAAAWWW!

JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE:

'Jimmy Hollywood' was released in theaters on 3-30-94

-Dom

Happy Ishtar

-Dom

Blessed are the geek for they shall inherit the Earth

It's a very exciting time to be a geek. Cinema continues to evolve in to such an amazing and eclectic art form. It still blows my mind how good everything looks. Yeah, I know, 'Avatar' was the film that "changed" cinema. But if you ask me, what's a great looking film if it has little to no depth or heart? The older I get, the less I care about if the shot was filmed correctly and the more I focus on how the film can alter and expand the viewer's consciousness. It's just more fun that way.

Okay, now as an avid superhero fan since 1986, there are few superhero movies that I haven't at least tried to watch. I did however skip on Halle Berry's 'Catwoman'. But hey, 'Cloud Atlas' was so awesome, I may watch it for shits and giggs just because Halle is a part of that cool ass flick.  The first superhero movie I consider to be the start of the modern age of superhero cinema would probably be 2000's 'X-Men'. The movie was a hit and really opened the flood gates for more superhero properties. It was of course followed by 2 sequels, a spin-off, and a prequel. After 'X-Men's success, geeks around the world got to finally see their favorite superheroes get a chance at shining on the silver screen. Films like 'Daredevil', 'Spider-Man', 'Ghost Rider', 'The Punisher', yes, 'Catwoman', 'Hulk', 'Hellboy', 'The Watchmen', 'The Fantastic Four' and many more. Some were duds and some will forever be remembered.  It's now 12 years later, and these genre pics are getting even bigger and better. Filmmakers and producers are learning from past mistakes and finally catering to the needs of their biggest fan base....The Geeks.

'The Avengers'. It almost sounded like a dream come true.  Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and The Incredible Hulk all on screen at the same time?? Yeah, that definitely sounds wayyy too good to be true, and ambitious to say the least. Oh wait, Joss Whedon is going to direct it? Yeah, okay, sure. I'll believe it when I see it. And you know what folks? Seeing is believing because that shit was awesome. Sure the first two acts may be a bit slow in comparison to the whole, but oh man is the wait worth it. The third act and finale made the film. Whedon delivered the goods so well that I was legitimately surprised by just how terrific the final product turned out to be. So much so, that I'm currently counting down the minutes until 'The Avengers 2'. 

So now I look to the future. What kind of tantalizing geeky properties do we get to feast our eyes on next.

Here's a few projects gestating that I can't wait to see.

Guillermo Del Toro. What a geek. For those who don't know, he's responsible for 'Blade 2' (my favorite 'Blade' installment), the two Hellboy films and 'Pan's Labyrinth'. And while the latter isn't considered geeky per se, it's still a very good movie.  His current project in the works is a little film called 'Pacific Rim'. While details are scarce and no truly revealing pictures have been released, the plot alone has me sold.

"When an alien attack threatens the Earth's existence, giant robots piloted by humans are deployed to fight off the menace."

Two words: Fuck Yeah.

And if that's not enough, Del Toro recently expressed interest in making a DC film called "Heaven Sent" which would be an Avengers-style team up of the supernatural and magical entities of the DC universe. A superhero team film which would feature lesser known anti-heroes such as The Spectre, John Constantine, Swamp-Thing, Etrigan the Demon, Phantom Stranger, Deadman and Zatanna.

Yes Please. Why not spice up the genre and introduce a bombastic, grandiose horror-themed superhero movie? I guess 'Constantine' did that in 2005, but I remember how much better it could have been. The reason I think this will work is because these characters don't really need stand alone films. Use the best qualities of each character to make an amalgamation of otherworldly phantasmagoria.

Hey, did you happen to hear that story about some company called Disney buying Lucasfilm? Oh yeah Lucasfilm made 'Star Wars' by the way. That's right, there's going to be new Star Wars films. Now while that can go either way (we all saw 'The Phantom Menace') I stand optimistic. Just hoping for the best. At this point, that's all we can do.

A few more properties that are on my radar:

• The Robocop remake (I may be the only one seeing the set pics of Robo's new suit and actually liking it).
• Stan Lee recently announced that Black Panther and Dr Strange movies are on the way.
• The sequels to 'Captain America' and 'Thor' as well as the threequel to 'Iron Man'.
• 'The Twilight Zone' movie which has just announced, has a time travel theme (no surprise there).
• Zack Snyder's 'Man of Steel' (my fingers are crossed that it's nothing like 'Superman Returns' and that Kevin Costner doesn't stink up the joint).
• 'The Wolverine' (which is apparently set after 'X-Men: The Final Stand', and that makes me even more excited).

 

Yes indeed, it is an exciting time to be a geek. Now if Bill Murray would agree to at least make a cameo in a third Ghosbusters, my brain may explode from pure unadulterated ecstasy.

-Dom

Life's what you make it

I know quite a few people who have all said similar things. And these are people separated by time and space.  These people I'm referring to are, in the nicest way I can think of...Naysayers. I love Urban Dictionary's definition of this unfortunate sect...

naysayer

One who frequently engages in excessive complaining, negative banter and/or a genuinely poor and downbeat attitude. Naysayers are distinguished by their tendency to consistently view the glass half empty, make frequent one-way trips to negative town, and constantly emphasize the worst of a situation. They have the capacity to rant and whine for hours on end about the most insignificant inconveniences. They tend to travel solo, but have the keen ability to spread their pessimistic attitude to a group of unsuspecting bystanders and encourage others to employ their mindset. Naysayers tend to blend in with those around them rather well, granted they have learned over the years to adapt to their surroundings. However, when the opportunity arises, their true nature will be exposed and they will stop at nothing to exclude others or bring a general sense of negativity to any situation. Not to be confused with non-naysayers who fight against the negativity brought forth by naysayers, make the best of a situation and are not afraid to call out a naysayer on the spot.

I'm not going to sit here and say that I've never had a negative view on the world. There was a period in my life, that my best friend John will attest to, that was a very dark time. It was like the period in the galaxy far, far away between Episodes 3 and 4.  I had become very depressed and cynical. I can say now, it was the saddest I've ever been in my life so far. It made me uncomfortable to be around. No one WANTS to be around an unhappy pessimist. Today, I feel fortunate that I snapped the fuck out of it. My glass isn't half full. It IS full. Because honestly, why the hell shouldn't it be?

Let's face facts right now. The truth of the matter is...YES. The world can suck. It can be discriminatory, disturbing, disgusting, discouraging, dejecting and dispiriting. I would hope that no one would actually disagree with that. But, at the same time, life is a many splendid thing. It lifts us up where we belong. Without life, there would be nothing. The truth is, the planet we all live on, is Earth and while it is argued to be run by a small sector of people who don't have everyone's best interests in mind, it's still our planet. We need to accept things. Acceptance to me, seems to be the key. Once you come to an understanding of the wickedness of it all, and just lay the cards on the table, then you can finally move forward. Yeah, shit sucks, there's child molesters, greedy fucks, murderers, dog punchers, war enthusiasts, and many more monsters scouring this big blue ball of life, but hey....THAT is life.

Since all that really matters is YOUR life, then it seems obvious that people should basically live the way THEY want to live. I do believe that everyone has the right to do what they think is best for them, just as long as they're not intentionally hurting others or the planet while doing it.

I've heard people say things like:
"Well, you know, really, we're born, we live, and we die. So really, what's the point of it all?"

While that is true. We are born, we do live, and we inevitably die, that doesn't mean we have to spend the 70-90 year period on this beautiful world in a constant state of negativity and unhappiness. What a waste of time. The following is a response from a person whose opinion I greatly respect, when I asked him, "What's the meaning of life?"....

"To have as much fun as possible."

So to those people who say, What's the point? I say this:

Fun, love, happiness, sex, drugs, movies, food, the outdoors, alcohol, music, friendships, family, knowledge, surprises.

Now those are just a few of the things that I personally love about life. How cool is it that we have the opportunity to watch 'The Avengers' or eat an ice cream sandwich? There's literally millions of trees that we can climb. And that shit is totally fun. Sometimes, it really is the little things that count. So you really should ask yourself...What are YOU living for?

The following are responses from some of my friends and family when I asked what the meaning of life was to them:


"Love, happiness, success and legacy"

"Life is about experiencing everything and anything that makes you happy. To be on your deathbed
and simply say "that was so much fun""

"To cooperate with the Universe's pattern and thrive"

"FBGM"


"-To experience a full range of human emotion.
-To question everything in search of truth.
-To understand that life is not about knowledge, power, and money - but mystery.
-To choose happiness.
-To love other humans and interact with them."


"The meaning of life is to answer to the one true gift we have. FREE WILL. To fight your free will, to go against your natural instinct is sin. We as humans have a gift, free will. Be free, stay free and think free."


"All in all, life is subjective, just like Aristotle said. Define your parameters and 
find your own damn meaning. Also, having fun is cool, too."


"In my opinion there is no meaning. It's the arrogance of man to assume a grand position in the scheme of the galaxy."

""You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. -Albert Camus""

"42"

"I don't know so much about the meaning of life, but I've always felt that the purpose of life is to learn and experience as much as possible. And don't be a cunt."



-Dom

Bread & Butter

So I'm having a conversation with a friend, via texting.
I say, "...You can do that, if that's your bread and butter."
A phrase I don't use very often, but a good one none the less. Underrated even. Maybe. Kinda.
No more than 5 minutes later, while watching, "Return to Paradise" on Netflix, Joaquin Phoenix is
wheeling a janky bicycle up a hill.
His friends tell him to ditch the bike, in which Joaquin responds with,
"This is his last bike, that's his bread and butter."

-Dom

'The Experience' by Dominic Albert Risso

‘The Experience’

A Short Story by Dominic Albert Risso

                Light years away, in the Primrose galaxy, a flourishing  kingdom led by a dying king faced a turning point. Even though his only son was the rightful heir, Prince Myriad was anything but right for this sacred position. He was brash, arrogant, and even cruel. He took for granted the gold he owned and the power he adopted.  A boy in adult skin, he had little respect for others. He treated his fellow man the same way a chef would handle expired food.

                In this world, a technology existed. A special chair only used for dire situations. Since the Prince was the only one that could lawfully inherit the crown, it was almost a requirement that he have, “The Experience”. Myriad was sat in the cold, steel chair. Two neon blue sensors, attached to dull green wires were placed on both of his temples. A half helmet riddled with blinking lights, hovered above his head.  The eldest doctor approached the Prince’s side.

“Myriad,” the doctor said bluntly, “This is how it will be.  You are not fit to rule this kingdom. You know nothing about life and its counter parts. You are like a flower that feeds off of star light. When you were a child, you were taught of Earth. This distant planet is home to hollow vessels known as humans. They incubate our souls. We are about to transmit your life force in to a suitable host. The life span could be anywhere from 65 to 80 years. Maybe longer. You will feel every second of it. But while you are living this experience, you will have no memory of your current life. In fact, you will think of yourself as a human and nothing more. From our perspective, no more than a minute will pass. It begins with the light and ends with the light. Myriad…Are you ready?”

                The Prince nods and lets his body relax. The scientists exit the room, observing through the glass partition. A switch is pressed and a flood of science is catapulted in to Myriad’s body.  His sternum jolts in to the air, while his eyes roll back in to his skull. The next thing he sees is a blinding white light. He finds himself in the small, fragile body of a newborn human baby. He is pulled from the womb of a beautiful woman. This baby belongs to a middle class family. Not poor, but not rich. He lives in America. He is the youngest of three children. He lives a modest life. His parents raise him to be a caring, respectful boy. He receives an adequate education. He knows that the key to a good, noble existence is to treat others the way that he wishes to be treated. He experiences love. Several times in fact. But with the good, comes the bad. This Earthling experiences the agonizing discomfort of losing his Mother to a dreadful evil known as cancer. He also gets in to meaningless squabbles with strangers. He watches films and listens to songs. They change his way of thinking. They alter his view of the world in front of him. He makes mistakes. He sees breathtaking sunsets, mountains, seas, and ancient ruins. He even marries a fellow human and pro-creates. He lives a full, genuine life. Sure he has regrets, but they are quite minute compared to the overall whirlwind of positive emotion. When his host body spends 88 years in full swing, he finds that his soul needs to find somewhere else to dwell. He passes peacefully in his bed. When he closes his eyes, instead of seeing the black behind his eyelids, he is again visited by this dimension-less white light. Myriad’s eyes return to normal. The helmet retracts and the doctors re-enter the room to remove the sensors from his head.

                “Myriad. Did it work?” asked the doctor. The Prince smiled in a way that no one had seen before. This smile was immediately followed by a stream of tears. Both happy and sad ones. He is informed that 33 seconds have passed. At first, this concept is very difficult for Myriad’s mind to grasp. “I was there for 88 years. I had two daughters, a gorgeous wife, an affectionate Mother, a supportive Father, and two wonderful, caring brothers. It was an experience unlike any other. It was beautiful, disturbing, whimsical, and horrifying.” The doctor nodded with a straight face and said, “It was necessary.”